old hearts..young minds

IS it good to feel old?
is it better to ACT youthful?

recently i realised that i really M a kid..but love being mature about life..
n yet i enjoy simple things like chasing ppl around jz for the fun of it...
hugging ppl for no apparent reason...

n then there is the other side of me..that jz deals with everything neutrally...
actually with no feelings at all..
really startin to wonder whether im schizo

nyways..,.thank u daddy
for being my honey..
its sweet..to be with u..to read ur word..

n yes..to spend time with ppl close to u..with u..
im in love..
i think..
i hope..
if not..im sure growing to fall in love..

bad?good?bad?good?
i dunno..
now all i know is that there really is SUCH a thing as a souldmate..
i believe that love CAN exist...btw ppl..(god is a givem:P)

we shall see whether love enters my life..
the love which GOD has passed to me..through blood..
the love..that results in self sacrifice..being 2nd nature..coz...its for the one u love...
(ironic huh since i think love is overated..yet thrive on it so)

p,s:i miss my family again..bad..
i love mummy daddy,benji,leon,n even'lil' april..
i pray my bros do well for the upcoming a's
tat ben n leon can both get into med
for my sis to remain a good girl n not end up with scars like mine..tat run deeper than the atlantic...
love u...
all

Love unconditional

bumps n dumps..
ups n downs..
m i business mode..
yet..
im hungry..
im thirsty...
i have no time..
feeling lost..
is it wat i want...
was it wat i want..
will it be wat i want..


daddy..
guide me..
lead me..
be the all consuming fire..
fan me into flame again..
i gotta get going..
at least something is decided..
m not entirely happy..
but im at ease
at peace
n

in
love..


thank u..
for teaching me to love again
to love myself..
to love u..
to love others..
n most of all..
to fall..
its not gonna be easy
its not gonna be short..
its gonna hurt.
its gonna be a joy..

i know no one is gonna read this..
i should be studyin..
but i cant..
*breath rach...breath*
but i cant

again..
i wish..i was with daddy now..
worshipping him..
at his feet.
the world is so...bleak..sometimes..
ppl colour it..
love colours it..
i understand wanting to die..
i understand wanting to live..


yet..i dun comprehend myself..
the light of the tunnel....
is enticing..thrilling..yet it hurts to come out into the light..

Y?

realised..
with one good thing
comes something bad
n as usual perspective makes all the difference...
funny how i never see things clearly until someone makes a silly comment
or frowns at me..
y
m i so dense.
DADDY..
i thank u for blessin me n i apologize for u giving me n inch and i taking a mile..
sigh..

Its funny how sometimes time flies and sometimes it drags on like it will never end...

How bad habits you though t were gone come back to haunt u.

How sometimes you jz can’t get someone out of Ur system no matter how hard you try…

Recently I finally understand why my mom was always so concerned about the ppl I deal with

Social Interactions would be an accurate term

I never really thought what she talked about was pertinent to me coz I was never bothered or affected much by the majorities opinion on any

issue.

I guess god has blessed me with an over analytical mind.

The old versus the new.

I guess he knows wats best for me.

Only know I realize how much someppl affect my life.

One of the past.

One of the future.

somebody close to me is an uncle.arent they the CUTEST THINGS>>>>haha..part of this made me feel glad n sad...
glad coz we r growin up
sad coz we r growin up..
some things never change..but most things do..haha these pics r jz a representation of HOW much older we have gotten..haha to think we USED to be the ones being carried..now we yearn to carry ones of our own..haha..
the irony of life..
growing up..

my class@nyp! n thoughts on n off day

haha jz received these photos..
we were jz foolin around in lab..
i love my classmates,
so cute cant stand them..
it was cerise's NEW mac..
thx gal..love u to bits.:)

another irony of life:
with the new we r supposed to do away with the old..
yet it hurts coz the old does have a firm grip on u..
it has made u who u r..
so y..
so y...
so y....
so y.....

can things never be the way they used to be...or better.
y is it things can only become worse but not better.
is it coz we never realise when things r better but only when they r worse?

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down

Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view
If no roof is overhead
And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
Everything we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case ...

We'll give thanks to You with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace ...

But, Jesus, would You please ...

this is my prayer for the while

To be sharp!

I need to focus.
i need to try to...
things r easier said then done..
i have the motivation..
haha but somehow..
this house always makes me slackk..
this week SHALL BE THE LAST like this,,
(haha i hope)

MAYYY DAAYY!!

mmm been a very relaxing day..
din get ny studyin done..haha(so not surprising)
n gonna leave my beloved mandarin till tmolo nite in 10 mins for felicias house..still prayin that i my shoe bag n stuff pop up..sigh
such a stupid thing
had a very relaxing time running while isobel cycled..haha
cant believe i was so slow..but did quite alot..bout 13 km min:)
n then i went for a short swim..felt good to jz let my physical side slug it out...
glucosamide really does help:P either that or my old shoes r easier on my knees.
nyways..funny how time passes so quickly when u have ppl u enjoy round u..
haha..time for sharpenin of the sword n another long bus ride...
lala..
life is good:)
ironic since i feel so tired n sleepy..
:)