hitting me where it hurts most

cant seem to get better..
everytie i feel better..
i do somethin that puts me back into the sick bed...
jz hoping this is jz the aftermath of bad water n the tooth extraction..

dadyy.
u really so know me too well..
y..
when guys were my weakness..
u hit me hard..
wondering whether it was u..or the fallen angel..

caught myself thinking someting bad jz now..
for the first time this year.
i nearly asked...
i nearly blamed..
the one i love n love me..
for putting me through trials..

its not ur fault..
uts all mine..

all i can do now..
is drink..
wrap..
warm...\
sleeep...
n pray.
pray praises to him..

i guess ur trying to teach me something..
only the ppl who know me better would know wat..
its been a big problem..
never saw it as a problem..
still not seein it as a probem...
will i be hit harder

*breath*